First off, I’m a mum of 2 girls. I don’t actually like saying I’m a mum of 2, I want to say that I have 4 children and that 2 of them didn’t survive pregnancy but I know that will lead to awkwardness. So a lot of the time I don’t say it. I am sure a lot of you can relate, as we’ve recently celebrated this year’s wave of light for pregnancy and infant loss awareness.
I actually lost identical twins in April 2013 and it completely changed my outlook on life, and how I am as a person. My twins are never far from my thoughts, more so on certain days, and less so on certain days, but they are always there.
I am extremely lucky that I have a very supportive and loving husband who completely took care of me through our loss, he selflessly put his own feelings aside and looked after me. During my darkest times, when I was completely broken and felt that everyone else had moved on and the world had continued spinning around me while I just stood still, he patiently stayed by my side, waiting for me to catch up.
We then went on to have our 2 healthy girls, our rainbow baby in 2014 (Munchkin number 1) and our golden baby in 2017 (Munchkin number 2). I try as hard as I can to cherish every moment of their lives, constantly telling myself that they are growing fast and that one day these moments will be gone and I will never get them back.
Often I put too much pressure on myself to be a good mum, and can find it all a bit overwhelming at times. I know i’m not the perfect mum, and none of us are. Being a mum is a really hard job, but it also has great rewards.
After having my second daughter I started suffering with Anxiety, and had very bad physical symptoms, namely a lot of vomiting. These symptoms did not leave me and my anxiousness was not situational. For a long time I didn’t tell anyone I was having these symptoms, but I eventually went to my GP and had some talking therapies which has helped me get my physical symptoms under control and make them easier to manage when they do come back.
I then started talking to friends about it, and the one thing that absolutely astounded me was the amount of people who have or still are suffering from some form of mental health problem, such as anxiety or depression, but until you bring the subject up, nobody really talks about it. I think this is a real shame, and am welcoming the changes in awareness that we have been seeing recently. The most important thing you can do if you’re feeling unwell is talk to someone, just tell someone, a friend or family member, or your GP and they can help you.
For a long time I have wanted to write a blog, but have only ever got as far as the research stage, so today I decided to push myself past that stage and finally do it!
It’s nap time, the house is peaceful and calm, so I have sat myself down with a cup of tea, (which I managed to drink while it was still hot!) and taken my time to tweak my site, and write my first post.
I hope you will enjoy my posts, If you do please feel free to share with your friends.
Thank you for reading! x